resolved

It's my last day of funemployment before I start my summer rotation, and I'm sitting at this amazing coffee shop at the edge of Durham, and I'm thinking now would be the perfect time to write my grad school resolutions.

So here it goes, in no particular order, and some are tangible, achievable goals, and others are more lofty, amorphous, general whims.

_Keep a paper notebook, but transcribe everything electronically at the end of each day.
_Apply for NSF GFRP my first year (and second, if applicable.)
_Apply for travel awards for conferences
_Write the methods as I do the experiment
_Outline the paper I 'want' to write, and do the experiments simultaneously
_Attend the Physiology course (or any other MBL course!) at Woods Hole
_Attend any course, really
_NO GCHAT 9-5 (ok 10-4)
_One (1) blog post a month on a paper I've read. (resurrecting journal club!)
_Go to as many relevant/semi-relevant seminars as I can and no iphone! notes only!
_No shit talking. about anyone or anything. No exceptions.
_Be writing my thesis by the time I'm 30.
_Polite, prompt and short emails from now on. (Following the rule that if it can't be answered/explained in 3 sentences, pick up the damn phone.)
_Work hard in rotations, so at least two labs want me to join.
_ASK QUESTIONS IN SEMINARS.
_And for gosh's sake rachael, PLEASE STUDY FOR EXAMS.

My biggest character flaw, (if I had to choose just one! I know, hard) is that I am sometimes (ok most of the time) slightly over-confident and can sometimes (ok most of the time) think that I know a little more than I actually do. I am working on that.

So if I had to pick one phrase to sum up my goals for grad school, it would be this:

Stay humble, stay curious, work hard, there is always an alternative hypothesis, and no goofing off on the internet.

I look forward to revisiting these goals in 5.7 +/- .7 years.

Should be fun.

grad school jitters

aka FREAK OUT.

I sent this email to my pops yesterday.

i'm starting to get nervous about starting my rotation. 

like, how do rotations work?? do they just give you a project? when am i supposed to start thinking for myself? how much am i supposed to talk with the PI? how much do i have to do on my own? am i going to have a harder time over the summer with L because it will be harder to work on weekends and things? 

POPS am I making the biggest mistake of my life?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

Apparently, I am starting a summer rotation and also having a panic attack. Luckily, I've got my pops.

He sent me back the most rocking awesome of all emails. 

Remember stay calm, there is absolutely no question that you can do this. Don’t forget that. What you’re really asking is whether you’re going to be a “famous” scientist, trust me, you can get a Ph.D. 

This is so on point. Because I think I am worried about not being good enough to be a PI, or writing a nature paper, or some other bullshit like that. But that's not what I'm here for, right now, at 25 years old. I'm here to learn to do good science and get a PhD. And I can do that. I'm good enough for that, right now. I got into the grad school I wanted, they wanted me. This is the right thing.

Pithy answers:
like, how do rotations work??
Random, they work how you want them to.

do they just give you a project?
Yes, typically they give you a grad student or postdoc to shadow

Oh, big help, pops.

when am i supposed to start thinking for myself?
Day 1, but the hardest part is to not be too annoying. I wouldn’t say be demure, but don’t be ashamed to ask questions, and get over whether they are stupid or not.

The word I think he's looking for is "modest". Got it.

how much am i supposed to talk with the PI?
Depends totally on whether you even see them. See how s/he interacts with the other students and use that as a gauge  Don’t be shy, it’s your relation with the PI that will dictate your degree. If you are comfortable I think that trumps everything else.

am i going to have a harder time over the summer with L because it will be harder to work on weekends and things? 

Nope, the best scientist I know, John Carbon was an 9-5 guy. It’s called efficiency. What you will miss are the endless hours of wasting time and schmoozing. You  might have to develop tricks to make yourself the most efficient. [Redacted] in my lab was master of that. She would get her reading done, when most people (today) would be texting and social mediating. Literally, she’d be living on the scope and have a little reading light to read papers while she was babysitting the scope.
Don’t worry about weekends and things- focus on being efficient-
[Redacted] works about 10-4 on average and she’s a great student, it’s really called working well and efficient and not to fall into the grad student trap of being there all the time. That is one of the biggest myths that is still perpetuated. That said, you do need to be thinking all the time and really probing deeply into the problem

Can I just pause for a second and point out that my dad calls it "social mediating"?  Gotta love that guy.

I'm starting my first rotation June 3rd. I won't go too detailed into why I chose to do a summer rotation, suffice it to say, it's getting my feet wet, and I am really excited about starting grad school. I'm really nervous. I've never been a grad student. I've been a technician for 4 years, and while I started out thinking very highly of myself and that this was a great preparation for grad school, I'm not that confident anymore. (A good thing, probably.) I'm nervous about getting to know new people, seeing how a new lab works, learning new techniques. (What if I have suddenly forgotten how to pipet!) I'm nervous, but it's the good kind of nervous. The kind of nervous that means you're really excited, that means you're on the right track. It's like learning to swim for the first time. Or riding a bike without training wheels. You're wobbly at first, you can put your feet down at any time to stop, but you can tell it's going to be a thrilling ride.


Any other PIs or grad students or post docs have good tips or tricks for first rotations? Is anyone else as freaked out as I am? So far I have decided that I am going to be modest, hardworking, inquisitive, and efficient. Oh and not annoying.