Pre-interview prep. And fashion!

My first interview is this coming week. It's a Thursday-Friday-Saturday one, where Thursday is like, dinner or something, Friday are all the interviews and stuff, and Saturday is something else. I don't know the exact details because I haven't received my itinerary yet.

I'm not an overly anxious person in general, but I am starting to get nervous.

I had this crazy dream last night that I received my itinerary, but it was blank. I wasn't interviewing with anyone. Then I realized that it wasn't blank, but all the names had been whited out, so I had to hold it against a window in order to see through the white out. So I do that, and I read the names, and none of them are people that I've requested or prepared for...and they're all MDs.

This is funny because I didn't *think* that I had anything against MDs, but apparently my subconscious dream self is really worried about them?

What am I doing to prep for my interviews you might ask? Here's what I'm doing.

1. Reading papers

My schools all asked me for a list of 10+ people that I'd be interested in talking with. I spent a fairly long time generating these lists, so I had a pretty good idea of the people whose research I was interested in and about a one line description of what they do.

I'm reading one paper (and preparing questions!) for about...five of the ten faculty that I chose. To be honest, this is about all I could manage. Nothing like slogging through a paper to figure out whether you're really interested in a topic or not...

It's sort of a hedging-your-bets kind of scenario. Reading papers takes a fair amount of time. I'm hoping I get the people I've prepared for, but when my final list comes, I'll focus on those people's research, and hopeful I'll have a small headstart with the papers that I've already read.

I had to push myself to read primary papers. For me, reviews are way easier to read and understand, but the more time I spent with them I found out that primary papers are easier (for me!) to find things to ask specific questions about. For one field and a PI that I'm really excited about, I read both. (I hope I get her.)

2. ...not mock interviewing

Other people are doing mock interviews, which is totally a good idea if want to do them. I chose not to...mostly because I've been a tech in a university for the past four years. I can talk about my science and my contributions to my projects at the drop of a hat. I've presented posters at international meetings. I've successfully ridden the elevator with faculty members of my department and not said anything too asinine. I spent a long time making the decision to go to grad school, so I can defend and articulate my motivations. I'm totally just going to wing it.

Clearly most of my preparing is reading papers, thinking up questions and...

3. ...agonizing about what to wear. 

Okay! I know! I hate that this is like almost as troubling to me as the science, but it is, okay? Let's not fight it. Let's deal with it.

Me and my labbies have been in a constant debate that goes something like this.

me: No one in lab/grad school dresses up.

everyone else: It doesn't matter, it's an interview. 

me: But I would feel like a complete moron pipetting in 'slacks' or 'business casual' whatever.

everyone else: It doesn't matter, it's an interview.

me: But that's not how it is in real life!

everyone else: ...

The point is, as much as I want to fight against it, everyone else interviewing is going to be in business casual, and if I'm the only one not, even if labs are casual and I know this, I'm going to be the one that looks bad.

The anxiety part is this: I've been a tech for the past four years and my clothes/personal style ranges pretty much on the 'slightly disheveled' end of casual so...there's that.

One of my favorite quotes ever is "Beware of any endeavor that requires new clothes," and I hear H.D. Thoreau on that because this is definitely an endeavor that requires new clothes and you best beware.

So I did it. I went to the mall and bought myself an outfit. A whole outfit. Everything fits, everything looks good. It's new, so I don't have to iron anything. And let me tell you, having a whole outfit ready to go for Friday has alleviated so much stress.

Because I don't need to be worrying about what I'm wearing. I want to be worrying about getting myself into grad school.

And looking really good doing that can't hurt.

Bad lab blogger!

Sorry for the web silence lately. I've been applying to grad schools and waiting to hear back from grad schools and I've been so wanting to write about the process but also I was kind of freaked out that if I didn't get in anywhere then why the heck would anyone want to read about what I thought about applying to grad schools...but I also realize that maybe that's not the point of this blog, or why I like writing, or science, or whatever, so web silence will end...soon.

I'll write about the whole process and my experiences with applying, and finding letter writers, and deciding what to focus on in my personal statement, but I'll start out right now saying this.

I got my first rejection yesterday. Berkeley. Which was not entirely unexpected for reasons I will go into later (I promise!), but here's the best thing to come out of it.

I was making coffee in the break room when my PI came in, and he asked me how I was doing, so I told him, "I got my first rejection yesterday."

His reaction?

"Get over it."

Which...was awesome. And exactly what I needed to hear. And exactly why I love academia, and why I know I'm so ready for grad school. I feigned surprise at his response, of course, and he replied, "What did you want me to say, go home and feel sorry for yourself? You know you're wanted other places, get over it."

He actually added one more expletive in there, but it seems slightly unnecessary here.

Because yeah, what am I going to do, wallow? Nope, gonna get over it.

(I received some less than nice responses, one from another tech on my floor, "Oh you probably just weren't good enough to get in." That's cool. I'm cool.)

But that's just, the way of the world, you know?

Emily Dickinson

My dad sent me this poem in an email today:

"Faith" is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency

--Emily Dickinson




This needs so little commentary, but speaks so perfectly (and succinctly!) to how universal the themes of discovery and science are. And Emily Dickinson, how awesome is she?